End the Stigma

The mental health system needs to change. The stigma needs to be erased. For years I’ve struggled with getting help when needed. It seems almost impossible at times. 2 year wait lists for eating disorder treatment or throwing thousands of dollars at private treatment centres. Going to the hospital plagued with suicidal thoughts only to …

Her Doc Martens

I miss her. I miss the way she laughed at my dark jokes about suicide and death. And her disapproving glance at my self-deprecation. A quick side-eye at my dismissal of her complements. I miss her doc martens walking towards me, inviting me into the office after waiting in the cold entrance. They knew me …

I am the Moon

I am the moon There is a part of me you will never see. A part so dark that even the faintest light will never reach. Claimed but never owned. A space occupied by incredible darkness.   I am the stars. A billion thoughts all at once. Each one both alive and dead at the same time. …

Over What Weight?

I don’t accept my body. I don’t love my body. I don’t even like my body. In fact, I’m embarrassed of how I look. I’ve convinced myself that I will never be considered for the job I want because of my weight. I fully believe that I will never find a man who loves me …

Reflect

I lie here scrolling through instagram. Every picture reminds me I’m not enough. I was never enough. I was supposed to graduate this year. Caps and gowns draped on people who I once walked alongside. But I swear they forgot me when I left. Every picture they share, my heart shatters a little bit more. …

My Brain is Sick

My brain is sick. Very sick. I hate to admit that. It’s not physical. You can’t hear me falling apart. You can’t see the lack of chemicals. There is no evidence of the life I live aside from the stories I tell and the art I create. There is no way to know I’m telling …