Nothing Changes

It’s like I never left.

6 weeks later and nothing has changed!

The four white walls still stand around me pleading for some colour. The speckled rug clings to the dust that has been living there for months despite so desperately trying to clean it up. The voices still echo through the halls with gleeful laughter and scurried footsteps rushing to get to the next class. The trees still are absent of their leaves that onced clothed them in a blanket of green. Footprints from past snowfalls still remain only now covered by a new scattering of diamonds.

Yet nothing remains the same. The sun rises and sets on is own schedule, different than months before. New textbooks beg to be read in hopes of understanding new classes with new professors. Friends have moved, friendships have changed, people have revised their idea of life in a new year.

Resolutions have been made.

Resolutions have been broken.

Perspectives shifted.

I too have both changed and remained the same. My heart is still heavy but there is a glimmer of hope drifting in the distance waiting for it’s moment to come alive. My mind is still cluttered but drawers are slowly being put back in place with organization that has been absent for months. My tears still fall every night like clockwork. My dreams still play broken memories twisted into a story I wish to never replay. My smile still fades at the very sight of my own image.

Yet my feet still move forward. Baby steps as my friends will say. One foot in front of the other.

Slow.

Steady.

Strong.

I promise I’m moving forward despite the struggles that hold me back. You may not see it. You may not know. But I am still moving.

Nothing has changed but everything is different.

xo,

Brae

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